Clutch hits thread in which people construct phrases that describe a player and also form an acronym that spells his name. My mediocre contribution is:

Good arm. Range could improve. Awesome power. A-Rod's rival, absolutely.

Others have done better. The Score Bard has outdone everyone, though. Check this out:

Rany and Neyer didn't actually
Believe Royals' optimism warranted notice,
But even reluctant reporters' opinions alter
If brought astonishing new evidence zapping
Their understandable concerns. Knowledge ends reluctance.
Belief emerges laboriously. Time reveals a narrative.
Stories will emerge, evidence notwithstanding, every year.
Hope also reappears, vindicating every yea-sayer.
Many a Central Division opponent underestimated greatly Allard's labor.
May Allard yell
"Luck is my ally!
Rob eats lard!" and flip off Royal doubters.

A masterpiece, and he also did one for the Yankees, and I don't think he's done yet. (Baseball Primer)

Cubs plug two holes by getting Ramirez, Lofton in Pirates fire sale. (Yahoo!)

David Cameron: "I have a feeling a lot of people are going to be up in arms about the Pirates trading 3B Aramis Ramirez to the Cubs today. After all, he's 25, has some power, and is having a reasonable season with a .283/.333/.453 line. However, Aramis Ramirez just isn't that good, and I won't lose any sleep over not acquiring him." (U.S.S. Mariner)

Yankees acquire Orosco from Padres. (Yahoo!)

Astros rookie Robertson wins again. Is it pronounced 'jer-eye-oh-mee', or 'jerry-ohm'? (Yahoo!)

Billy Altman on Armando Benitez: "His greatest strength—machismo—is also his biggest weakness; Paul O'Neill's pivotal at-bat against him in the 2000 World Series was only one of scores of times we've seen him throw the same exact pitch over and over, unable to believe that a batter is actually hitting it." (Village Voice)

Prospectus Triple Play: White Sox, Cardinals, Rangers. "The Sox have some assets they can trade--Tom Gordon, possibly even Robby Alomar or Carl Everett--but the key name is Bartolo Colon, who even with a sub-par season could command a premium in a trade market that's short on quality starting pitchers. The risk is that the Sox wait too long before punting the season, losing what opportunity they might have restock a farm system that has been plundered through trades." (Baseball Prospectus)

Two entertaining guest columns from Only Baseball Matters: Doug Purdie remembers watching and talking about baseball with his parents, while Iain rants and raves.